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New Year’s Resolutions January 8, 2006

Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.
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So as we head further into 2006, are you managing to keep your resolutions? It’s easy to say things on the spur of the moment. Yeah, I know, I tried it before as well. “I promise not to drink.” “I promise not to swear.” “I promise not to have sex with loose women.” The thing is, most people make their resolutions on New Year’s Eve, when people like me are leglessly drunk and have passed out in a pool of their own spit and vomit (I haven’t done that yet by the way). Whe nthe next morning comes, they don’t remember them.

I don’t bother making resolutions anymore. Why would I want to change a personality that is, by my own standards, completely perfect? Why would I want to stop drinking? I love drinking (not to be rebellious like a lot of teenagers, just because I enjoy it). Why would I want to stop swearing when the swear words are a part of who I am?

If anything, I resolve to drink more (to within a milimetre of death if I can wangle it), swear more (because let’s face it, swears are funny shit) and have more sex with loose women (like your mum. Boom. Sorry, had to get that one in).

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